F*ck Pandemic Outdoor Dining
Packs Shipment No. 5
It’s hard not to get even a little bit annoyed as I walk through the city nowadays. Outdoor dining has been back for a few months, and it has officially taken over the streets. Sidewalk and bike lanes have been fully blocked off, society’s annoying need to be served is on full display, and it’s annoying the hell out of me. All of this has given me a savory entrée of disdain for outdoor diners.
Credit: Elvert Barnes
Depending on the route I take, I pass around four restaurants on the walk to my girlfriend’s apartment, one of the few bodies I spend time around anymore because of the pandemic. Every establishment with the proper licenses has jumped at the opportunity to have outdoor seating so much that it’s ridiculous. It’s hard not to notice, and even harder to not get a little offended, either.
They’ve literally taken up the sidewalks. One restaurant close to my girlfriend’s apartment blocked off the entire sidewalk for seating and detoured pedestrian traffic into the street. THE STREET. Yea, there are little orange blocks that help drivers not run over the people just trying to walk, but that’s still a no for me. Don’t push us into the street while you occupy the entire damn sidewalk. I ain’t sign off on that!
Other times, the sidewalk is open to the public, allowing anyone to stroll through a new assortment of diners, servers, and hostesses serving water and cocktails. Is that even safe?
I think about it from the diners’ perspective. Every part of their food is exposed to whoever walks by. There are still people who believe masks ado harm to them than Covid, and walk around gleefully without a mask. What prevents a random person from coughing or talking and having some of their spit or whatever land on your plate, in your drink, on your hand? How many people can walk by during the hour or so you’re eating? It could be only one or two, or it could be 20.
I understand being outside is safer than being inside, but is it still safe when any amount of people can pass by your table to your unprotected plate? Is it still safe when your safety is predicated on how safe I am? I don’t trust any part of it. The whole thing rubs me the wrong way.
When I see a blocked off section reserved for the outdoor dining elite, sometimes I cross the street. But other days, when I‘m really off my shit, I cautiously walk right through. I stare at every table as I walk, judging the hell out of them and their deep-seated need to be served. Sometimes they look back before putting their heads down to their plate of charred salmon with a side salad. I shame the shit out of them behind my mask.
Like most things in America with a prominent theme of servitude, outdoor dining has been annoying for as long as it’s been the new norm. Shots of outdoor diners waiting for their appetizers or mimosas while protests against racial inequality rage on just a few feet away from their tables show the disconnect in some people’s minds. Behind their roped off sections, outdoor dining has become something of an escape of the realities of the real world.
The threat of being hit by a car doesn’t even stop the outdoor dining from indulging in America’s favorite pastime.
Are restaurants really that great? Is outdoor dining worth sitting through a thunderstorm or being hit by a car? Is it worth the still genuine risk of catching Covid-19?
If you can believe it, I have eaten at a restaurant with outdoor seating. When the world is ordinary, it’s cool. But you can keep being seated in bike lanes with cars whizzing past you, or in a busy sidewalk during a pandemic. To me, the shit ain’t worth it.
I know how I sound right now, complaining about something like outdoor dining on a throne of holier-than-thou. I know offering even outdoor dining is good for the economy and good for the countless restaurant workers who have been out of work for months. I know many restaurants are doing it the right way, providing a safe dining experience for people yearning for something, anything, resembling normal. I get. I know I’m doing a lot of complaining about outdoor dining.
But does it have to be so damn annoying?
Heat Pack
Hoodie Mitch
Sometimes it's cool when an artist slowly eases their way into your eardrums. Most of the time, it's better when they kick in your door and announce their presence with a fury. Well, that’s how the New York-born rapper Hoodie Mitch starts his latest track “SZN 25,” a diss track to the standard structure of American inequalities and the death it brings. “They killed another brother is you serious?/ You can see the pain in my eyes that I’m furious,” Mitch announces on a megaphone as soon as the beat gives him the stage to speak.
Mitch has some finesse in him, too. On “Come My Way,” he transitions from delivering fiery bars to crooning the song’s soft-touched chorus.
Unbox Hoodie Mitch: Come My Way; 24hrs; 40
BK THE RULA
You were fully sleeping if you missed BK THE RULA’s irresistible 2019 hit “Tweakin Together.” It landed the Atlanta-born artist on every major music publication you can think of, introducing the world to BK’s soft voice floating around spacey beats with hints of trap bass and drums. Her follow-up project to the newfound success, Love Santana, wasn’t met with the same energy as “Tweaking Together.” It’s not because of a lack of quality music.
Thankfully, BK didn’t let the low reception detract her. She’s still making music and solidifying her sound. “Summer” would have been great if we had an actual summer. Meanwhile, “kumbaya” is a flower growing through the concrete cracks outside a small, sweaty music venue. It’s only a matter of time before BK The Rula surpasses “Tweakin Together” and fully propels herself out of the stratosphere.
Unbox BK THE RULA: kumbaya; Detox; UH HUH
Old Lil Wayne
I’ve been listening to Old Wayne damn-near all week. Part of it is research for an idea on a piece I’m working on. But the biggest part of it because old Lil Wayne is some of the best rapping I’ve heard in my life, to this day. You can play some old Wayne around anyone in the world and no one will object. That will be a fact of life until all the earth crumbles beneath us. Then some aliens will grab this shit somehow and bump it in the nebulous. Wayne is that great.
So be like I’ve been all week and bump some Wayne today. These are some lesser-know, easily-forgotten tracks in his vast catalog. Go crazy.
Linked
Al Shipley—The Story Behind ‘WAP’s Unforgettable ‘There’s Some Whores in This House’ Sample
“He hadn’t heard Cardi and Meg’s song yet on Thursday night, with the rest of the world, but knew something big had happened. “My daughter sent me a link. She’s so proud that her daddy has such a strong connection with the whores of the world,” he initially told me over Facebook, adding a laughing emoji.”
Erik Parker—Don Lemon Is Out of Fucks to Give
“Yet, while his NYE shenanigans have endeared him to revelers who appreciate his one night of devil-may-care antics, that’s just one night in Lemon’s otherwise straitlaced world. When Lemon, who splits his time between Harlem and Long Island, checks in with LEVEL on Zoom, he looks exactly the way he does on television: unbothered, unflappable, and ready for debate. In a moment when Black lives are the focal point of a long-overdue reckoning in this country, he speaks on his fear for his safety, why it’s so hard to knock him off his pivot, and how it’s been a minute since he’s had to throw his hands — but he can and he will.”
Yoh31—Hip-Hop in 2020 Is Full of Greek Mythology
“Hercules-type rappers sound like gladiators in the heat of battle. Think Rick Ross’ “Hold Me Back,” Chief Keef’s “Faneto,” 3ohblack’s “All Talk,” or Rico Nasty’s “Rage.” It’s the largeness they exude that makes them appear as strong as a Greek god. Pop Smoke had that largeness. “DIOR,” “Scenario,” “Welcome To The Party,” and “44 BullDog” all exemplify the power he projected. That’s how I’ll remember Pop—Canarsie’s champion, the one with Herculean bravado and a voice that could spook a Cerberus.”
Shoutout BET’s No Limit Chronicles
BET has kind of been the poster child for fumbling the Black bag. The network had the potential to cater to Black audiences in cooking, home improvement and design, sports, children shows, anything! Instead, BET canceled the shows that made it great and play Baby Boy over and over again.
But this past weekend, BET finally premiered something new—the No Limit Chronicles, a five-part series detailing the story of Master P and No Limit Records. It’s one of the best things I’ve seen from the network in a long time, and it’s not just because I’m from New Orleans.
The docuseries includes interviews from people responsible for the Tank, from Percy Miller’s family to his manager at Priority Records. It’s a well-done documentary that finally diverts from the traditional, overly-covered rap legacies like the Wu-Tang Clan or Tupac.
The No Limit Chronicles delves into Master P’s tumultuous coming up and all the ways it could have crashed around him, the dangerous hurdles of snatching Snoop Dogg from Suge Knight’s infamous Death Row Records, and how murder and racism in Southeastern Louisiana was a constant threat to No Limit’s success. And trust me, there’s a lot in between that I didn’t even know.
You can watch episode one of the series on Youtube, but all five parts are only on BET.com. If you have a cable subscription with BET as an included channel, just sign-in and go. If not, you can do what I did—make a profile for 24-hour access and binge away.
Welp, hope y’all enjoyed this edition of Packs. We back next Friday with a new delivery.
Between Packs, follow me on all the socials: @Tribecalledni on damn-near everything.
Until next time, be cool.